In March 2015, Autostraddle launched
The Best Lesbian Sex Survey
, ready to accept all “lady-types exactly who sleep with lady-types.” We garnered over 8,566 total responses (89percent of which happened to be from men and women between your centuries of 18 and 36) and now we are discussing the results along with you, little by little. Formerly:
How Often Perform Queer Ladies Have Intercourse?
,
100 Gayest Spots You’ve Had Gender
,
The Masturbation Habits of Queer Ladies
,
50 Actually Exciting Things You Wanted All Of Us To Know About How You Have Sexual Intercourse
,
26 Parts of Solid Intercourse Guidance
,
41 Emotions You’ve Got In Regards To Scissoring
,
Listed Here Are The Very Queer Underwear-Wearing Habits
,
When It Comes To Orgasms, Lesbians Are Nailing It
and
The 100 Many Challenging Spots You Have Had Sex
. These days we’re discussing when you lost your virginity and just how a lot of lovers you had!

What’s Lesbian Gender?

The average American seems to lose their virginity within age of 17 — but “virgins” are thought as people who’ven’t had heterosexual penis-in-vagina sex with a different-senior sex partners, which means many queer ladies who’ve had gender with women would-be regarded as “virgins” by that meaning. So how do we also start whenever making reference to that patriarchal V-Card in a queer framework?

Well, we are right here, we are queer, so we have fantastic gender, which 92percent people concur maybe understood to be “any time you might be with at least one other individual and somebody is wanting to create somebody have an orgasm.” 66percent contemplate common self pleasure counts, 81.5percent number oral sex and 80per cent consider pleasuring (digital penetration) become gender. With the 9.49percent just who showed “other” besides or rather than the other choices for “How Would You describe Lesbian gender?”, one noted:

“this will be a challenging concern. Would lesbians have sexual intercourse? The epistomological root of the term ‘sexual’ method for sever or divide. I would personally say that intimacy between females does the contrary of sever. It does make us whole. We are in need of a different sort of phrase than intercourse to spell it out this.”

Therefore, there you are going. Oh yeah, immediately after which we now have this flowchart:

Okay, therefore, now that we’ve developed that lesbian sex is actually a real thing and that we are able to establish it but the hell we desire, let us talk about whenever you achieved it the very first time, exactly how many people you have accomplished it with, and so forth.

The First Time

I’m 33 yrs old, and actually I’m not sure numerous queer women my age or earlier just who actually knew another queer woman in high school, let alone desired to and had the chance to make love with one â€” meaning I happened to be completely unprepared for how several of you had ladysex during the early puberty and therefore we did not require a get older beyond “16 or under.” If we had, we’re able to’ve provided an “average age at which a queer lady features sex with another queer woman the very first time,” but we failed to, so we can not! Nevertheless, there’s lots more to chat and contemplate because of this information.

Carry Out Queer Ladies Make Love Sooner Than Right Females?

Based on the trial, yes — but the trial is actually eager participants in a survey about gender, therefore keep that in mind.
One-third of American teenagers experienced sex from the period of 16
, but 43% people had sex from the age of 16 — and amongst that gang of 3,101 who’d had sex by the ages of 16, 44per cent had done this with a person, 36per cent had done so with a woman, and 20percent had completed therefore with both men and women.

Whenever we take a look at

simply

lesbian-identified women, though, those numbers are particularly various, which suggests your likelihood a queer woman has had sex with men is a large element in whether she actually is had sex by the chronilogical age of 16. Just 21percent of lesbians had sex at 16 or younger, as well as that selection of 1,832 ladies, 41% performed thus with a person, 41% did thus with a female, and 17.9percent did very with both.

Surprisingly, there seemed to beno distinction between lesbians and bisexuals in terms of asleep with females prior to the period of 16 — it comes down out over around 20 percent both for.

This Aspect

Generational variations are extremely essential when considering this kind of information ready. Whether you had intercourse with a man and when you initially had gender with a female are extremely connected with your age — more mature women are more prone to have slept with males at some time much less more likely to have already been with a female at a younger age. This makes sense: return 2 decades and a lot of teenage ladies having sexual intercourse with one another would’ve needed to keep it really silent, return back three many years or maybe more and having caught in a lesbian sexcapade could’ve ruined everything. That is nonetheless true for a lot of queer women, but not to your exact same degree because it was a student in yesteryear.

33percent of those over 40 made it happen with a girl for the first time at 18 or more youthful, when compared with 64.7per cent of under-21s. Certainly more youthful individuals will report younger years of obtaining had gender, because young adults that haven’t had intercourse tend to be less likely to fill out the study first of all, so those numbers are merely moderately relevant — but additionally, 9.38% of under-21s which performed make the study have not ever had gender with a female, versus 1per cent of over 40s.

There’s also a severe generational distinction when you look at exactly how many females have obtained sex with guys, which statistically speaking, can take place the very first time circa get older 17 and so supplies a more tightly controlled evaluate just how stuff has altered ever since the time when sex with guys ended up being mandatory and sex with females ended up being tricky to find. (Although, to be reasonable, it really wasn’t socially appropriate for ladies for sex with

anybody

they weren’t married to for many of history.) 49.6% of under-21s have had gender with a guy, in comparison to 76.7percent of the over 30 and 81.4percent over 40.

For many bisexual, queer, pansexual and otherwise-identified individuals, gender with guys is something they truly desire doing, very, to get a much better see individuals who’ve had sex with men despite (at the time or eventually) willing to make love solely with ladies, I narrowed industry to just lesbian-identified ladies. The figures happened to be almost identical for older females, but shifted a little for younger people: 41percent of under-21 lesbians have acquired intercourse with one, in comparison to 78percent of lesbians over 40. This is certainly one of many factors why it is so annoying whenever lesbian identity is actually policed based on whether or not you have

previously

had gender with a man — you are potentially denying an entire generation of females their own identification.

Of everybody who’d had gender with a guy, 91.7percent did so for the first time from the ages of 21 or earlier in the day, but only 76% of the who would had intercourse with a female pulled it well ahead of the age of 21. Often it takes only a little longer to learn that you prefer females at all, and quite often it really takes a tiny bit lengthier to track down a lady whom loves you back. Heteronormativity is actually a robust force, y’all.

The Amount Of Individuals Have You Had Gender With?

That is a great concern, header book! I am going to answer it individually today:

What exactly is really fascinating this is how more partners you have had than directly ladies! In accordance with the CDC,
10% of women between the ages of 25 and 44 experienced gender (oral, genital or anal) with more than 15 males
— meanwhile, 29.4percent on the women between 25 and 44 on the survey had sex with more than 15 individuals. Which is almost 3 x a lot more!

There are numerous possible details because of this. The very first is that
queers are more inclined to be non-monogamous
. The second is that there is much less stigma around “promiscuity” in queer circles — my personal “number” is one thing I happened to be

continuously

familiar with and asked for once I dated men, but virtually zero associated with females i have dated have asked for it. The 3rd would be that individuals with vulvas with intercourse along with other individuals with vulvas do not risk maternity, this means casual intercourse can seem to be a lot more, well,

casual.

How many other aspects play a role in exactly how many intimate lovers you got? Well, right here will be the cross-tabbed facets that had many dramatic results:

Another fascinating relationship was “interest in kink.” 30% of these very or solely thinking about kink experienced 16+ intimate associates, compared to 14.5percent of these who are not extremely interested or not enthusiastic about kink.

In addition, athough the trial sized Muslim-identified ladies (26) ended up being too small for mathematically significant conclusions, that small class did report method less sexual associates than many other religious teams. Buddhists (214 respondents) and Wiccans (157 participants) had been very likely to have numerous intimate partners than other religious teams — 18percent of Buddhists reported 25+ sexual lovers, when compared with 11% regarding the entire party.

Carry out a lot more lovers correlate with becoming self assured during intercourse?

Yes. 70.4per cent of those with 1-2 partners happened to be either somewhat

or

really positive about bed, in comparison to 97.5% of those with 100+ partners. The difference are far more severe on either end of the range — 71.6% of these with 100+ associates are very self-confident, when compared to 18.7% of these with 1-2 lovers and between 30 and 55 percent of the with spouse matters starting from 6 to 99. The greater development is that nearly all of you might be confident in bed, duration — 82.4per cent associated with the entire team are notably or very self-confident and only 9.23per cent tend to be “not confident” or “really maybe not positive.”

So, there you really have it! Queer ladies have more sexual partners than directly ladies and seem to have sex for the first time all over same get older, as well. Queers: they may be exactly like queers!