When you consider that you probably don’t have a future with him, and will only end up hurt. Don’t you think it’s time to make a better decision? You are spending time with someone who has shown they will cheat and otherwise be dishonest. You deserve to have higher standards than this.

Now that you start thinking about whether it is lust or love, you may realize a married man isn’t what you want. Great then! There is hope for you to turn things around.

For some people, it may be as simple as deciding to stop dating him. But, it won’t be as easy for everybody. You may need help to disentangle yourself from this relationship. And I’m here to offer you a hand.

1. Be Relentlessly Honest with Yourself

If you are in love with a married man, you have had to engage in self-deception. Not only did you convince yourself it was okay to invest your emotions in someone unattainable, but you’ve had to justify causing harm to his partner. It’s great that you want to stop all of this now, but it isn’t going to be easy.

You may find yourself justifying seeing him or trying to convince yourself that having a relationship with a married man isn’t such a bad thing. No matter how tempted you are to fall into a pattern of denial, stay focused. It hurts now, but you will be better off soon.

2. Focus on the Possibility of a Better Future

Try not to focus on what you are losing. Instead, look to the future. By ending this relationship you open up opportunities to relationships with other men who can truly be available to you. But, that’s not the most important part. You can now focus on yourself.

Just think of all you can do now that you no longer have to wait for a man to get a brief time away from his wife.

3. Figure Out Why

• What led you to fall in love with a married man?
• Were you seeking out sex https://getbride.org/pt/noivas-romenas/ with someone who could never truly bond with you?
• Was it the adrenaline rush?
• Was there a part of you who thought this was the best deal you could get, or just the best you deserved?

If this is part of a pattern where you date men who aren’t good for you, please consider therapy. You deserve a healthy and hopeful future and may need more help than advice from well-meaning friends.

4. Don’t Let Guilt Paralyze You

It was wrong to have a relationship with a married man. You can and should hold yourself accountable for your choices. However, women often take on accountability for their own actions as well as those of everyone around them. This can lead to spiraling where you simply focus on how wrong you are.

That’s not helpful. Human beings make mistakes. You can turn this around. Keep your head held high and move forward.

5. Set Clear Boundaries

He is getting something out of this relationship, and may not want to give up his “side woman”. Don’t be hesitant to set and enforce boundaries. Block his number if you need to.

Remember, if you start talking to him again, you could get roped back in. Many women will tell you this from personal experience. Fortunately, if you can stand strong for a few weeks, he will probably accept that your relationship has ended.

Sidenote: Be wary of how generous men can get during this phase. The gifts and promises will start to roll in as he tries to keep his side woman around for physical intimacy at his convenience.